


yours.

by intabularasa



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Behind the Scenes, Canon Compliant, Episode: s04e16 Who Are You?, F/F, basically about That Spell after faith and buffy body swapped, stuff we didn't get to see, you know the one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-17
Updated: 2018-08-17
Packaged: 2019-06-28 17:50:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15712092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intabularasa/pseuds/intabularasa
Summary: tara and willow do a spell. an intense spell.also some details of their relationship are explained according to how i expect them to have developed.





	yours.

**Author's Note:**

> i might do a 2nd part at some point and raise the rating to E but this is it for now.

She’d piqued Tara’s interest from the get-go. From that very first Wicca Group meeting of the semester, Willow’s energy had caught Tara’s attention while everything else about the girl that had caught Tara’s eye. 

When Willow had suggested that the group actually perform spells, it had only confirmed Tara’s suspicions. The power she’d sensed in Willow’s aura hadn’t all been in her head- wasn’t just a side effect of the potentially massive crush that Tara was rapidly developing on the redhead. No, there was real magic there and that comment about trying out spells was proof of that.

It wasn’t until those demons came along and stole everyone’s voices that Tara saw an opportunity to talk- or pantomime- with Willow one on one. She’d hoped to do a spell to return the stolen voices of the town. Instead, they’d ended up in the laundry room, hiding out from the creepy floating guys and their ape-like lackies.

But Tara couldn’t say she minded.

That night was the first time she really got to feel her power connect with Willows. And it felt deeper than that still. It had been the first time that she got a taste of what it could be like to connect with Willow at all- magically or not.

Since then, they’d done a lot more spells together. Spent a lot of nights together without spells too- talking, getting to know each other. A lot of nights fueling the fire of Tara’s unstoppable crush on her new friend. A lot of nights where Tara’s heart broke silently as Willow told spoke of how Oz had broken hers.

But despite the plethora of reasons that made Tara so sure that nothing more than friendship could ever happen between them, it did. What exactly, neither of them had said. Neither felt brave enough to. But Tara could feel it. The connection between them had always been intense, but Tara could sense when it shifted further. She could sense it even before there were any real, outward signs of it. But oh, those came too.

Tara had been sure that she was dreaming the night it happened. Well, not at first. Not right when Willow had shown up at her door and explained how her plans had fallen through. But it was somewhere around minute ten of Willow stepping into her room, of Willow pacing, of Willow babbling so rapidly that Tara struggled to separate the words. It was somewhere around minute ten that Tara had been convinced she had fallen asleep, that she was in the midst of some wonderful dream.

Because Willow had been babbling and Tara had been doing her best to listen. And what she had heard was Willow babbling about  _ her _ and about their  _ connection _ and about her feelings- feelings for  _ Tara _ . And it took all of five seconds after hearing that confession for Tara to be sure that none of it was real, that it was just too good to be true. 

But it was real. And she thanks the goddess that they could always read each other so well because it took less than a minute more for Willow to step in and reassure her, to ground her. Willow had silenced her own rambling and caught Tara’s gaze, anchoring her and quieting the racing thoughts within the blonde’s mind. She must have seen the hope in blue eyes because Tara could see the fear in green as plain as day. And so she took Willow’s hands- both to comfort her friend and to give herself the extra reassurance that she was really there, that it was really happening.

It was terrifying and it was nerve-wracking and she had felt more than a little faint when she spoke, but she pushed through it. And she asked Willow if she was sure. 

Tara would never forget the way the red locks had bounced with the little nod given in response. She’d never forget the way Willow had nervously poked her tongue out between her lips or how her eyes darted in all directions before settling back on Tara’s. Even now, she could almost still feel the squeeze that was given to her hands as Willow stole some courage, the courage it took for her to lean in towards Tara.

Tara wouldn’t trade that moment for anything in the world. That moment that forced her to be brave- when Willow had lost her nerve and began to pull away but Tara had pressed forward still. She had never figured out where she had found the confidence to close that distance between them but she is still thankful everyday that she did. Because it gave her the first taste of Willow, the first sensation of the redhead’s soft lips against her own.

She hasn’t been able to get enough since.

They haven’t defined what they are to each other. Haven’t put a label on the way that they spend more time now connecting their lips than casting spells. Or the way that they’ve gradually moved from holding hands beneath the covers on the nights Willow spent at Tara’s to falling asleep and waking up in each other’s arms- tangled up in the tethers of the connection that only grew between them. 

Tara doesn’t think that they need to label whatever it is they’re doing- not yet anyway. Not until Willow’s ready. She knows how she feels about Willow, knows how they feel about each other. She’s Willows, entirely. Tara knows this. And she thinks that Willow does as well.

Still, after that long-winded babble Willow had ventured on that lead to Tara hearing herself described in the most beautiful way she could imagine, Tara felt compelled to make sure that the redhead knew. And so she told her. With the way the word “mine” had rolled off of Willow’s tongue echoing around in her head, Tara told her.

“I am, y’know?”

Willow turned, tipping her head, “What?”

Tara turned as well, meeting green eyes and responding softly but surely, “Yours.”

Willow had never planned to fall for Tara. After Oz, she’d pretty much planned to never fall for anyone again. But the connection she felt to Tara was undeniable- it was palpable, uncontrollable. Similar to the smile that she can’t seem to suppress when Tara tells her that she’s hers.

Willow hadn’t realized it until now, but she’s pretty sure that hearing those words fall from Tara’s lips was the only sound that she’d ever wanted to hear. Tara is hers. And maybe she can’t form the words to say it just yet, but she’s Tara’s as well. Completely. And Tara knows this. She can feel that she does.

Something is off with Buffy- Willow can feel it. She’s probably stressed about Faith. Her waking up had been a shock to them all and the weight of it all fell firmly on Buffy’s shoulders.

Willow was almost glad when Tara said that she had a stomach ache and wanted to turn in early. She’d never wish Tara ill but she’s grateful to escape the impromptu outing with the obviously stressed slayer. Especially if it means alone time with Tara. She could make her tea and get her crackers, hold her until she feels better.

“I’m sorry you’re feeling all blechy. But we’ll get together with Buffy another time. Sometime soon,” preferably a time when there wasn’t a crazy rogue slayer who Buffy’d almost killed clouding her best friend’s thoughts. She’s sure that Tara will like Buffy when given the proper chance to get to know her and she tells Tara so.

The long sigh that Tara gives in return coupled with, “She’s not your friend,” makes Willow falter, doubting the confidence she’d had in her best friend and her…  _ Tara _ … getting along.

But then Tara explains. She explains about Buffy’s energy and how it was fragmented. And really, it makes sense. And they need to figure out what’s wrong with her best friend.

So they decide to do a spell. An “intense” spell.

Willow trusts Tara. She does, with her entire being she trusts Tara. But she also really wishes she’d asked exactly what Tara meant by “intense.” She wishes she’d been warned about the _ways_ this spell would be intense.

She’s paying attention to the magicks- she  _ is _ . But  _ goddess _ she’s paying attention to a lot more than that too. Her body feels like it’s on fire in the best way possible. A fire burning from the point where Tara’s hand meets her own. There’s a sheen of sweat on her brow and she can hear Tara’s panting breaths matching her own. And her eyes. Goddess, her eyes. When they meet her own she swears that there is no blue left in Tara’s gaze. Ocean eyes stolen, darkened with a desire that she’s sure is reflecting in her own eyes as well.

It all becomes too much to bear as the magic consumes her and Willow falls back onto the pillows laid out behind her. There’s no longer a spell and helping Buffy and Tara and pleasure. It all becomes one as she sees into the nether realm. There’s a sense of clarity for a moment. She sees Buffy’s spirit, trapped within Faith’s body and fighting to get out. And she sees Faith, latching on to Buffy’s form and using it like a puppeteer. 

And through it all, she feels Tara’s hand firm just above her left knee, anchoring her to this plane- anchoring her to Tara. But then the clarity is gone and she’s overwhelmed. Pleasure and heat mingle, coursing through her body and she has to gasp her breaths. Her vision goes white, her body arching up off the floor. She feels like she’s floating and there’s a dull fear in the pit of her stomach that makes her worry she won’t be able to come back down. 

But she hears a moan from where she’s sure Tara is still sitting beside her, reminding her that she isn’t in this alone. It’s a squeeze at her knee that has Willow’s mind fading from the nether realm, has the magicks dissipating as she slips back into reality. The first thing that she feels is embarrassment. But the second is a reassuring pat on her knee. And the third is safety.

A chuckle bubbles up from Willow’s throat as she brings her hand up to wipe the sweat from her hairline, “Woah. You weren’t kidding when you said ‘intense,’ huh?”

There’s a nervous giggle from her left and she glances over to see Tara hiding behind her hair, “Y-yeah. Guess it was more than we- um- more than we bargained for.”

Willow sits up slowly. She hates it when Tara hides herself like this. Not for any other reason than the fact that it so clearly shows how Tara doesn’t see herself properly. Doesn’t see what Willow sees. Like how smart she is. How beautiful. How remarkable.

Willow gently reaches out to touch her fingertips beneath Tara’s chin, tipping her head up to face her while Willow brushes blonde hair away from the girl’s gorgeous face, “That was incredible.”

Tara dips her head and Willow releases her chin, smiling when Tara looks back up to meet her eyes of her own accord. Willow’s skin heats up, sensitive from the spell and tingling as she watches Tara’s tongue peek out to nervously lick her lips, “It wasn’t too m-much?”

Her gaze still on Tara’s mouth, Willow subconsciously leans in towards her, shaking her head slightly as her answer. Her voice is a whisper when she speaks, “Not too much,” before gently connecting her lips to Tara’s.

There’s a soft gasp against her lips before Tara responds to the kiss, languidly dragging her lips against Willow’s and causing the redhead to feel like her skin is burning all over again. Even more so at the little moan that Willow feels more than she hears, trapped in the back of Tara’s throat. The sound sets her alight and she’s about to deepen the kiss when Tara pulls back.

She doesn’t go far but it’s far enough to make Willow sure that her pout is bordering on “petulant child” status. She doesn’t particularly care at the moment. Especially not when her antics grant her the sight of Tara’s half-smile that she loves so much.

“Did you-” Tara pauses and Willow can tell from the ragged quality of the breath the girl takes in that the spell and the kiss aren’t just affecting her. “Did you s-see? What was wrong?”

“Wrong?”

“With Buffy.”

“Buffy… oh!” Willow feels her cheeks heat up, all thoughts of the reason for their spell had left her mind from the moment she’d felt the softness of Tara’s lips. “Yeah, she’s um- well… Faith. They…” she’s trying to focus, she really is. But she can’t tear her gaze away from Tara’s lips and they are incredibly distracting.  _ Goddess, Tara’s lips _ … “They must have switched somehow… Switched bodies…”

Willow leans back in and this kiss is instantly more heated than their last. Tara whimpers against her mouth and Willow swipes her tongue across her bottom lip. Tara brushes it with her own and then shifts so that her teeth can capture Willow’s bottom lip, causing the redhead to groan once and then again, louder when Tara separates their lips for the second time.

“Shouldn’t” Tara pants for breath, admirably trying to control herself. “Shouldn’t we- you. Shouldn’t you tell someone? About Buffy and F-Faith?” 

A glance at the clock is Willow’s saving grace. She shakes her head, using the action to mask the fact that she’s slowly moving her lips towards Tara’s again. She manages a quick peck before Tara tries to speak again.

“But-”

“It’s late,” she pecks Tara’s lips again.

“Too late to-?”

“Yes,” another soft kiss.

“But don’t you think-?”

“No,” kiss.

“Are you sure-?”

“Yes.”

Willow recaptures Tara’s lips fully this time, leading them into a deep kiss that has Willow trying to guide Tara to lay back on the floor. But, maddeningly enough, Tara pauses again. Her voice is firm this time when she speaks.

“Willow.”

It catches her attention. Pulling back far enough to meet Tara’s eyes, Willow is suddenly horrified with herself. She’d gotten so worked up from the spell, caught up in her desire to feel and to touch Tara that she hadn’t thought it through. Sure, making out is nothing that they haven’t done before but that means nothing in the grand scheme of things. Maybe Tara isn’t in the mood for that right now. Maybe she’s drained from the spell or maybe she’s weirded out by how intense it got. Oh, goddess, she’s totally weirded out by how intense the spell got.

“Oh. Oh! Tara, I’m sorry. I didn’t even think. I mean I-I read things all wrong. I thought you were- I thought you were feeling- I just got so worked up and I thought you did too and I didn’t even ask. I’m so s-”

“Willow.” Tara’s finger gently presses against Willow’s lips and it silences the babble that had only been picking up its pace. Ramble having subsided, Willow just stares wide-eyed into kind, blue irises, waiting for Tara to speak again. “I need you to not-” she stops and shakes her head before trying again, “Don’t apologize, okay?”

Willow only nods. 

Tara drops her finger, taking Willow’s hands in hers instead. “You didn’t read anything wrong, I just-” Tara bites her lip and the action makes it very difficult for Willow to focus. Tara notices and smiles, as if her gorgeous smile is any less distracting. 

“You didn’t read anything wrong. That-that spell was just…” Tara shakes her head and it’s clear to Willow that she’s struggling to find the right words. Willow just smiles in agreement. There really are no words for it.

“And then seeing… s-seeing you like th-that-”

“Did it totally freak you out?”

Tara’s eyes widen, “No! G-God, no.”

Willow tips her head at that, her brow scrunched up. If it didn’t freak her out, why doesn’t she want her to touch her?

“It didn’t freak me out, not at all. And I d-do. I do want you to touch me.”

Oh. Well, either she said that out loud or Tara can read her mind. Sometimes she’s so well-attuned to her needs that she really does think that the latter is true. It certainly wouldn’t surprise her.

“But I… we…” Tara sighs. “Willow, that spell. It got me- well. I’m sort of… w-worked up now?”

Willow can’t help her grin at that. Because- well, duh. Same. “Me too, that’s why-”

“No, but-” Tara sighs again. She does that a lot when she can’t make her words sound the way they do in her head. Willow’s learned this over their time together. She loves how Tara always wants to say everything just right. Do everything just right. 

Tara squeezes Willow’s hands, holding eye contact as she continues, “We’ve never…” Her eyebrows rise closer to her hairline and Willow instantly knows what she’s hinting at. And Willow instantly feels that fire on her skin again.

Tara’s right, they’re never gone that far. But that doesn’t stop the parade of images from pushing their way to the forefront of her consciousness. The same images that have been floating around in her head since she and Tara had shared their first less-than-chaste kiss. Willow’s sure that her skin is really on fire this time. Invisible fire. It had to be.

“Oh,” it’s all she can manage when she’s trying to temper the invisible flames rising against her chest. 

“Right, ‘oh.’ And… and since we’ve never… I think- I don’t know if-”

Willow places a gentle hand on Tara’s cheek. Saying nothing but reassuring her that she’s safe. Here, in this room, with Willow, she’s safe.

After another deep breath, Tara continues speaking. This time her words come slowly but clearly, “I don’t know if I could… c-control my-myself. Right now, after- after that spell, seeing you like that. I don’t… I don’t think I’d want to stop.”

Willow’s mouth goes dry, she blames the fire. Her heart rate goes wild and her mind races it, rushing around to figure out why on  _ earth _ Tara losing control in that way could ever be anything but wonderful. It takes her a moment, but she finally sees where Tara’s coming from. She nods slowly, understanding. 

“And you’re worried that if we start and you don’t want to stop that we’ll… not stop.” Tara nods. “And we’ve never- well, not together. And,” Willow ducks her head and shifts her gaze to the carpet, “And I’ve never… with a-” 

“No, that’s-” Tara ducks down until she catches Willow’s eyes with her own, “That isn’t- I mean…” Her lopsided grin appears and it instantly puts Willow at ease. “I mean, I could teach you.” The twinkle in Tara’s eyes when she says it adds a spark to Willow’s fire even as it sends a shiver down her spine. But Tara’s confidence wavers as quickly as it appeared. “I mean- I meant- When we… Well,  _ if we _ -”

“Tara.”

A squeeze to Tara’s hands and a gentle smile sets the blonde at ease, just as Willow knew it would. Willow’s voice is a soft whisper when she encourages Tara to gather her thoughts and continue, “Breath, baby.”

Tara does just that and it grounds her enough to finish with a simple, “When that happens between us… I just want you to be ready. I want you to be sure.”

Willow’s heart swells at the words, at the level of care and concern and, she’ll let herself think it just this once, love. With all of the emotion threatening to burst from her chest and the fire, the desire for Tara, still licking at her skin, she decides that simple is the best way to go.

She leans forward and presses a sweet, soft kiss on her lover’s lips, breathing her words against them, “I am.”

Tara pulls back and meets her eyes, “You are?”

Willow nods silently, waiting, knowing the girl well enough to know that she’ll want to reassure her again. Knowing that she’ll want to make Willow as comfortable as she can. Want to take care of her as best she can. And she gets it. She wants to do all the same things for Tara as well.

Goddess, Willow really was falling for her.

“I know that I s-said that I wouldn’t want to stop but- If you ever- Just-just tell me if you want to stop okay? Because we will."

Willow smiles softly, moving her body in front of Tara’s and with a gentle hand at her shoulder and another on her back, she guides Tara to lie back on the floor. She covers Tara’s body with her own, settling into the familiar and perfect way that they fit against one another. Her lips find their way to Tara’s neck- kissing, tasting, savoring the skin at her pulse point. 

She feels the shiver that runs through the body below her when she murmurs into the skin beneath her lips, “Baby?”

“Mmm?”

Willow grins at the way Tara has already given herself over to what they’ve both been craving. Given herself over to Willow. The redhead tips her head up, brushing her lips against a pierced earlobe as she whispers, "I had never planned to stop tonight."


End file.
